


Every Part

by bluebackstabber



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Major Spoilers, OK BUT IT'S A REUNION FIC OK, Spoilers, Violence, overall really hurried and sloppy writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-06
Updated: 2013-09-06
Packaged: 2017-12-25 19:20:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/956728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluebackstabber/pseuds/bluebackstabber
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That is the first time he sees Levi in what feels like several decades, in the front row, with a fist over his heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every Part

**Author's Note:**

> BEFORE I SAY ANYTHING ELSE THERE ARE MAJOR SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 49 OF THE MANGA IN THIS FIC. PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS FIC UNLESS YOU HAVE READ CHAPTER 49.
> 
> I basically have no explanation for this because I'm just a ball of complicated emotions right now. I wish I could have written this better but I just needed this out of my system.

He can’t feel a thing when it happens.

 

A part of him panics, a part of him relaxes, and a part of him is yelling with every muscle in his body.

 

But every part of him screams at him to fucking _live_. Every part of him says that if he doesn’t live, it would be wrong of him; unfair of him to the entirety of the Scouting Legion, unfair to all those who died for humanity’s cause—so he wills himself to live. Time seems to slow down; he never knew titans to be so slow. He cuts his way through steaming flesh with extreme precision. He continues to fall closer to the teeth, but he shears away at the jaw. When he frees himself he whips the 3D maneuver around in a tight circle to the titans neck, and with one blade in his left hand and the other in his jaw. He cuts deeper than he normally would have; the titan thuds down and hisses with steam.

 

He feels no pain as he lands back on the ground. He sheathes one of his blades and whistles high-pitched while running, and his horse gallops back to him in time. He hoists himself up without fail. He barely even registers that his arm is almost entirely gone, but nothing, nothing; this is _nothing_.

 

He has always prepared to give his life but not today; they _need_ him, and if he can help it, he will fight to live with every breath he has in his body.

 

His mind is so clear, so sharp, and he rides so much faster than he ever dreamed possible.

 

And he has never felt more like a monster.

 

* * *

 

When he comes back, they honor him with another badge of recognition.

 

That is the first time he sees Levi in what feels like several decades, in the front row, with a fist over his heart. His expression is unreadable, blank, but he doesn’t think he has ever seen a more perfect salute. Erwin realizes then, for the first time since he lost his arm, that he will never be able to salute like that again.

 

His phantom limb mocks him with a searing pain.

 

Erwin the man, the boy, and the child watch from a windowpane as Erwin the Commander recites a well-worded speech.

 

The applause is so staggeringly loud, and it takes more than a few moments for him to realize that it’s for him. He hears people shouting his name. He doesn’t understand what he has done to deserve this; he doesn’t know why he has a new badge now, but he knows not to let it show. He stands impassively as the stunning applause very slowly dies away, like the last embers of a fire that burns the corpses.

 

He retires to his own room only to notice he is not alone.

 

He has wondered over and over again how Levi would take the news, how he would react—there are so many versions of it in his head. There are ones where he can’t look at it, ones where he turns away, ones where he shakes with rage, ones where he doesn’t react at all. But Levi does none of those things.

 

He takes one hesitant step forward, as if not knowing if he were real, and then he closes the distance between them as fast as he can without running.

 

He doesn’t even so much as _glance_ at it, and he stares at his face for all of two seconds before he kisses him, bruising and hard, teeth knocking horribly—and Erwin holds him as tight as he can, exhaling sharply through his nose and lets out a stifled noise from the back of his throat; relief wracks through every part of him, every side of him, every piece of him. Even the Commander trembles for him, and he can’t for the life of him remember how he could have ever doubted Levi.

 

Here is a man who could love all of him.

 

He has never felt more powerful.

 

And he has never felt more human.

**Author's Note:**

> [in case you want to reblog it on tumblr](http://bluebackstabber.tumblr.com/post/60436368256/every-part-an-erwin-levi-fic)
> 
>  
> 
> i love comments just so you know


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